Saturday, May 28, 2011

negative positive.

Sorry I haven't been the best blogger lately. I really have tried to post something... but lately, the only things on my mind are negative. I blame the hormones.

As excited as I am about Ping-pong* getting here, it is so hard to show my excitement when I hid my pregnancy for so long. Like I told you before, I didn't tell anyone until around Easter, and before that I made a point of making my stomach as unnoticeable as possible. Now that I'm wearing tight fitting shirts and talking about baby all the time, I feel like it's all people can talk about. It really isn't a negative thing, I'm just really not used to talking about it, so I'm taking it more negatively than positively.

For instance... Like I said in my last post, I recently did a huge facebook friend deletion, and shortly after that I posted the link to my blog that announced that I was pregnant on facebook. So almost immediately I was getting at least 3 facebook friend requests a day. I blamed it on the fact that I had just posted a blog about my pregnancy and looked at those friends requests as a negative thing... surely all these people didn't want to be my friend on facebook just because... they wanted to be my friend because suddenly there is some juicy gossip about me. But at the same time, I was getting messages constantly from people saying that they were more than willing to help me in any way I might need, and just pouring out words of encouragement.

I really am trying to see the good in people, but after hiding for so long, it was second nature to expect the worst. I guess I just need to take a second look at everything and make sure I'm not making something positive negative. I need to get a hold on these stupid hormones, and be happy no matter what!

*Ping-pong is my nickname for this little guy. I'm not going to decide on a name until he's here, so until then... Ping-pong it is!

Sunday, May 22, 2011

new developments...

Hello neglected blog-viewers!

How have you been? I've been great! Let me fill you in on what's been going on (some of these are bigger than others... take this as your warning. If you aren't currently sitting[although I'm pretty sure you are], you might want to grab a chair)

1. I'm home from college.

Bittersweet to say the least. I am really going to miss my Luther friends, but I am so glad to be home. It really sucks since I"m not going back to Luther next year, but I know that being at home will show me who my true friends are. The last couple weeks of school I felt like I was home every weekend... actually, I was. But every time I went home it was like a teaser for what the summer was going to be. It was so hard to focus through finals week, I didn't write one of my papers until the day before it was due, and I was supposed to start writing it at least two weeks before... woops. All in all I think I did pretty well though. After one of my finals my hand ached(3 essay questions that ended up being 6 pages worth of hand-written responses), and the rest were due before the actual test date, or at least had to be finished out of class(take home test, paper, speech).

2. I did a mass removal of facebook friends.

I went from something like 650 friends on facebook to 290! I went through, and everyone I wouldn't go out of my way to hang out with off of facebook got deleted. I figure, facebook is a place for people to see who I am, and I know for a fact(because I'm this way too) that people judge other people through their facebook... pictures, status updates, wall comments... all a chance for people to take something and form an opinion about you. I figure there are plenty of people that I don't really want judging me, especially when they don't know me very well. Part of my doing this was because of recent activity #3!

3. I'm pregnant!

Yep, it's true. I'm sure some of you out there have heard rumors, or have heard it from me or my family personally. I am 34 weeks pregnant, due July 1. I know... farther along than you might have expected. But due to some really crazy and sometimes crappy circumstances, most people didn't know until about a month ago. It's stupid to say that I was scared to tell my family, I think it was more that I didn't know how to tell them. I knew I would have their support, but I also knew that pregnancy changes everything. No more Luther, no more late nights with the girls(to an extent), and a complete change of focus-from myself, to this little baby boy. It's scary, but really exciting, and my family is excited too! This has turned from something that I dreaded to something I'm really looking forward to, because for all the doors that have been closed, a lot of new ones have been opened for the same reason.

I'm really glad to finally get this out there. I wanted to do it after I left Luther, because in all honestly, Luther is a breeding ground for gossip that I really didn't need to deal with in my current state. I didn't want this new development in my life to be something that was negative, and I knew that that is exactly what would have happened at Luther. But now I am surrounded by positive people that I know are going to be supportive of me! I am so excited for this little boy to get here, and am so excited to tell you what's going on in the meantime!

(In case you didn't believe me, here's the belly to prove it!)

Monday, May 9, 2011

school and song.

Just throwing this out there... cause it just hit me.

I have 4 days of regular classes left(I'm missing Friday cause of a doctor's app in Des Moines SCORE!)

And three days of finals!

Not gonna lie, I'm pretty pumped to be done... you should have seen the load of homework I had due for today!

1 seven page paper for global politics

1 eight minute long speech due for public address

1 three page lecture critique due for public address

Not to mention some other stuff I have due this week. But I feel so relieved to be done with all that. I have another paper to write... and one two-minute toast to write... but they aren't due until finals.

Needless to say I am ready for summer.

Now I'm going to go finish up getting ready.

Oh, and if you haven't already... please go listen to Adele now.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011


For anyone that follows this blog, I'm sure you know by now that I absolutely love Luther College. And until a couple weeks ago I had every intent of staying here and finishing my college education. But now, thanks to some circumstances I'm not quite ready to share with the world(I hopefully will be soon), I will not be attending Luther College this fall.

It was a decision that was necessary with the big changes that have been happening in my life. A 4 hour commute between Luther and Des Moines is just out of the question. It isn't a choice that I was excited about at first. I knew that a lot of the things I was looking forward to next year were simply not things I could do anymore... like being a Tau Delt Mom, and being the cheer captain, and having the independence every college student loves. But the more I think about the changes that are taking place, the more excited I become.

Sure... I'm living at home, I won't graduate when I originally planned, and I won't be able to see my friends at Luther as often as I would like. But my life is about to change so much, and I'm really excited about those changes. I am going to be so close to my amazing, supportive, loving family, through these changes I will find who my true friends are, and I will have a new responsibility that I never imagined having at this point in my life.

I'm excited to fill you all in on all these changes, and the big choices I had to make, but please be patient. Believe me, I look forward to the day that blog goes up.